Let that shit go....no really,..... Drop it now!

                                                          Do I really need this?


In my attempt to simplify my life and purge.. I keep asking myself this question.
Do I need this or do I want this? Does it serve a purpose?  And no I am not talking about men...

 Okay wait.....I am really not talking about men but ultimately we could end up there.

Let me explain.

In my quest for joy, happiness and less stress I need to let go of the things that do not serve me. Easy right? No damn it..... it is not easy!!!

I have accumulated a house full of things, all of which was acquired during the raising of my kids and husband...oops ummm  I digress.

Why do I need 20 towels? I will tell you why..because my children left them wet on the floor or stuffed them into their closets.....typical kid strategy's to avoid hanging them on the bathroom hook to dry or put them in the washer.

This is why.

 I don't have a good excuse why I have the number of shoes that I have or purses, or 20 tops that are  black. No I don't have a good excuse for that one.


I need to let this shit go....all of it, seriously. It is weighing me down all this stuff. And so I commit to the purge and ask my self

                                                          "Do I need this?"

                                                  "Does this serve a purpose?"

And then just maybe these questions will seep into my subconscious..reminding me that these questions should be relevant to my life as well.

"Am I wanting of needless things, am I useful, does this food serve my body..I can go on and on

                                            I hope this shit works.

Missing You

I am not a blogger.

Let's just get this out into the open first hand because if you think I do this for a living, well, obviously not,  considering my last post was 4 years ago. Here's the thing though, overlooking my poor grammar and my endless run on sentences, for which I am well known for, I am pretty good at reaching down into the depths of my own "bullshit" glove less, dirty and disgusting and just plain ole getting real.

I have endless notes on my phone. This has become tedious. And then I thought, just blog it, Jesus......!

When I clicked on the search bar for blogger.com it shot me directly to my old blog.... "poof". I have been here before, like an old one night stand reappearing in your life and you cant remember their name. I read the posts, written shortly after my 2nd divorce.

 Crap.........  


 I don't recognize her.

       
 Let's face it, she just doesn't exist in that form anymore.

 I deleted all the posts.......except for one. It was worth keeping, like an old black and white photo, a snapshot of me in the past.

I redesigned my blog..a mountain in the background. It is fitting. We are all climbing mountains, pitted with valleys of green, steep faces without handholds, gentle inclines with loose gravel, where you cannot secure your footing, and well, maybe, interrupted by a few burning bushes of truth.

All the prophets of the past spent some time on a mountain, in a cave, retreating from people and the madness of the world. Self revelation, mind blowing truths, only to return with true wisdom and a bit of grey hair.

But let's face it....

What good is the wisdom if you don't employ it?
    I get stuck.
         I get stuck then I get mad.
                 Self defeating, and return full circle into the "WTF" stage.
                         Self deprecating,  and self sabotaging habits that I know all to well.

So here I am on the mountain standing in the middle of an avalanche.

                                                               Yes standing.

                                                            My feet are cold.